Nervous? Who's nervous?

Officially I leave on the 4th of July, but tonight is the last night that I am spending in my house for two months. There are lots of mixed emotions right now, and I thought I'd take some time to reflect on some of those--

Traveling means one thing, airports. I love airports, and I really always have. Flying makes me marginally nervous, but it is always outweighed by the excitement of actually being in an airport. I love to watch the people, love to speculate about where people are going and why. I like all of the stores and shops in airports, and I think it is fun seeing all the different things that airports have to offer. For this particular trek, I'll be flying through Cincinnati, Chicago O'Hare, London Heathrow, and Berlin Tegel. That will give me time to see all kinds of different airports and people. The music I listen to in an airport is also very pivotal. I like to imagine myself in a movie, and the music that I'm listening to is the soundtrack. That might sound kind of weird to you, readers, but it's the truth. It gets me in a good mood and gets me excited to fly.

The excitement of seeing new airports and, more importantly, seeing new places is always great, but this time it is a bittersweet feeling. I've never been in a situation like this before. I've been away from home for two months before. There were times at Centre and in Alabama where I didn't get a chance to come home for a long, long time (and I'm sorry about that Mom and Dad). But this time it's different. I can't come home. I'm not at all saying that I would want to come home, but I've always had that option of coming home if I ever wanted to. The last time I had this feeling was when I was at scout camp. Then I cried nearly every day, and Mom came to visit every day. That can't happen now. I like to think that I'm older and more mature than I was back then, but it's certainly a new situation that I'm in that makes me a little nervous.

Something else that makes me a little nervous is that I will know absolutely nobody. When I left for Centre, I knew one person who was a year older than me. And while in Alabama I didn't know anyone (aside from the few Centre students spread out throughout various graduate programs), it was fairly easy to make friends and I could stay in touch with my family and friends fairly easy. I could drive to Murray or Lexington or Danville or Louisville and be somewhere where the people were familiar. I think its exciting to be in this position where I will be interacting with people all over the globe, it is a little nerve-wracking to think about meeting people. I'm really excited to learn about other people and their heritage and backgrounds, but doing so when the language barrier and, maybe, the cultural barrier might be vast, sparks a little uncertainty. I'm completely comfortable traveling by myself and experiencing Germany alone this time, but that isn't something that I want to do. I think that I'd be missing out on a part of this opportunity if I didn't take advantage of the potential friendships and people with whom I will be studying.

The most obvious thing is how much I will miss everyone. I've never been so far away physically for so long. Yes, India and Vietnam took me halfway around the world, but that was only three weeks long. We traveled so much on both of those trips that it all went by in a flash and I really didn't have a whole lot of time to think. But this is more like a stay rather than a trip. Two months is a long time, and I know over that time I will miss my family, my girlfriend, and all my friends very, very much. It will be tough being away from you all for so long, and I hope to hear from you frequently.

All this being said, all these nerves that I have, I am really looking forward to taking advantage of this opportunity. I am going to see sights, meet people, eat food, drink beer, go to soccer games (Hannover 96 v. Arsenal, July 29!!). I'm going to see that country like a maniac will probably make a fool of myself doing so, but really, who gets a chance like this to experience Germany like this? It's normal to have pre-travel jitters, and these are just some of the big ones that I've got. It'll be interesting to see how they are resolved, and don't you worry, blog-followers, it will all be resolved right here on BMB.

I leave you with a bit more German music. This is a number from the German band Wir Sind Helden (We are Heroes) and their number "Nur ein Wort" (Only a word). It's a catchy one. And don't worry about knowing all the words. Neither do I. Just enjoy!

Deutsches Wort des Tages:

der Ausländer -- Foreigner